A guest contribution from Canis No Malus…
The images came back from your endoscopy. They said it looked like you got stoned a lot, so they recommended turning the heat down. You’re leaving a burn trail. Spontaneous combustion of the necrotizing rocks along the layer of charcoal is a distinct possibility, especially in the presence of flat-earthers and weaponized virus conspiracy theorists
In layman’s terms, you could burn off every hair on their face and head IN ONE BREATH
Congratulations!
Oh, they also found your birdbath