The events were terrible.
It was necessary to cut the tree, curving as it was toward the powerlines. There was no righting it, and in months perhaps it would reach. Even now were it to fall the top would almost strike wire. Better to take care of it before such a thing might happen.
Enter the Dewalt lithium chainsaw; yet the angle was tricky. I notched it and cut it sideways in hopes of dropping it (mostly) parallel to the wires. This did not go as planned — the tree tilted directly toward the wires, pinning the saw in the cut. I tried to pull it out, but neither fate nor geometry were with me. After much agitation I wrapped the tree with a chain attached to the old Ford Ranger (the one with the fifteen year old deer dents) and pulled it down, whereupon the saw fell to the ground. Worry — I pressed the trigger — nothing but silent sadness and a dent upon the armor of manhood.
The chain would not turn. I surmised that the bar might be subtly bent enough to prevent operation, so I ordered a new one, which arrived in a couple of weeks due to the COVID-19 shipping situation. I attached the new bar, and guess what?
Nada. The bar was not the problem. The doo-hickey on which the chain turns was immobile. I set about trying to take the saw apart to get to the internal workings of the doo-hicky. Unfortunately, the screw heads on the saw were those torx starshaped heads, and did I have a fitting screwdriver or drill bit? Nope. I attempted the operation with a flathead screwdriver and managed to get every one out… except one that was 100% intractable. The doo-hickey was beyond my grasp.
Off to Lowes and a surreal pandemic yuckers where half the people in the store were not practicing good social distancing. I stood in front of the wall of drill bits (normally a pleasant thing), and a parade of people walked by within three feet of me, some stopping and standing next to me to regard the same bits. And to top it off, they didn’t have what I wanted — all they had were the itty bitty (not manly) ones that are so short they keep falling out of whatever drill you try to put them in. So — the mission abandoned — I returned home with lightbulbs and six bags of concrete but no torx bits.
Ordered online, COVID-19 style. Once the bits arrived, I prepared for the operation. And then… a curious thought occurred to me. I pushed the chainbrake in front of the guard and there was a click. Now the doo-hickey would rotate. I will say that the torx bits were useful in reassembling the saw, except for the one leftover screw that I have no idea where it goes. The saw is fully operational now, with an extra bar and some torx bits should I need them. Cuts like a dream.
Canis No Malus had the following assessment: ‘I’d tell you that you’re a dumbass, but I’ve done the exact same thing!’