AUGUST 29, 2020
Saturday — conservation is the concept for the day. The body — it seems to have just enough life within to keep the blood pumping and the organs functioning at minimum capacity. Not much seems worth the expenditure of energy. Why do something when one could do nothing?
Hey, something just splashed in the pond. What was that? Must’ve been a big fish throwing himself around.
Anyway, there will be no grand accomplishments today. This is not depression in the diagnostic sense — there is no sense of deep unhappiness or dread; perhaps more literally, as in one’s energy being all pressed out, flat?
At some point I’ll check the news to make sure things haven’t deteriorated further. But no rush.
AUGUST 30, 2020
Sunday — our flaws and imperfections — these are laid bare of late. For myself, as a husband and father — the things undone, the missed opportunities, the mistakes — it is easy to be consumed by these at the end of the day. As someone who walks upon this earth, have I lived well enough? Have I shown my values through my actions? Through my words? Have I done my best?
The answer is ‘Not Enough.’
Fall is coming, yet it feels like summer has already slipped away. I am unready for another season.
But it comes nonetheless.
AUGUST 31, 2020
Monday — C.F.M.D. is at school now, a hybrid schedule of Monday-Tuesday on site, the rest virtual. Coming back down the driveway I stop — four deer graze in the meadow. They pause, and we engage in mutual observation. Four statues — until one by one they begin to dance this way and that, the big buck the last one to give. There, There by Radiohead plays on the car stereo
They are gone by the end of the song. Just because you feel it… doesn’t mean it’s there
Seems like August is over now.